“Don't look for peace. Don't look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender”
- Eckhart Tolle
Conflict is the antithesis of peace. You can never find peace if you are in conflict, whether that be within yourself or with others. As Eckhart Tolle so aptly implies, the searching for peace is at conflict with the state of peace. If you are searching then you are inherently not at peace. Accept what you feel now. Accept who you believe you are now. Accept this moment for what it is and you will find peace beneath it.
A negative habit is often identified by its overt and seemingly dysfunctional nature. And beyond those obvious negative habits such as watching too much television, overeating or leaving the toilet seat up (not me, those other guys), we also have many habitual behaviors that have been there with us for quite some time. Ways of behaving that while clearly not dysfunctional may still be reflections of opportunities for growth and expansion. In reality these are all just strategies for meeting a need (except the toilet thing, that's just inconsiderate). Of course, if your strategy is working for you and not hurting you or anyone else then that's great. However if your habit is something that you feel is working against what you really want then there is an effective path to changing that habit or behavior and feeling more aligned within yourself.
In any relationship there are things that aren’t said, things that we hold back. There are emotions towards that other person that are somewhat undefined, subtle feelings of frustration, irritation, and of disappointment. This is part of being a social human, designed to co-exist with others in the experience of life. We get hurt, we become fearful, we feel angry but underneath it all there is a longing for oneness, a longing for belonging and connection.
When a relationship ends, whether due to someones passing or an ending of a relationship, those unsaid things, those inexplicable subtle emotions, are left standing alone waiting to be resolved into that oneness. And while it may feel like you are the one standing alone waiting to be connected again, in truth you are much more than that.
It is possible to find that oneness, that wholeness and sense of belonging after a relationship has ended. You can in fact do it within your own mind because in reality that is where everyone in your life exists, in your mind. Perhaps surprisingly, this inner version of that person wasn’t truly who they were, it was how you saw them. The good and the seemingly bad are all your perception. This is the light at the end of the tunnel because it means that if they exist in your mind, you can change the relationship, resolve the unresolved and you can feel better about it and about yourself.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.
Disclaimer: Hypnosis is a partnership between the client and the facilitator to create change in both the conscious and subconscious mind. I am a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, not a Licensed Medical Doctor or Mental Health Professional. As such, hypnotherapy services performed are non-therapeutic and not intended to take the place of professional counseling, medical, or psychological care and should not be used as a substitute for diagnosis or treatment of any condition. I do not work on pain or diagnosed mental or physical conditions without the referral from a licensed practitioner of the healing arts per North Carolina State Statutes. If you are under the care of a medical professional for any condition for which you are seeking hypnosis support, please obtain a signed, written referral from your provider prior to engaging me and moving forward with related sessions.
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