4 Days To Gain A Lifetime Of Confidence

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

The implication of this quote above from the great Roman stoic and Emperor Marcus Aurelius is that we look outside of ourselves to know ourselves. It is my opinion then that in doing so we diminish ourselves and in fact contrary to the former part of the quote, we love ourselves less. Not less than we love others but less than the complete state of love that we should have for ourselves. It is this lack of self love that stifles our confidence and puts us on unstable ground in whatever we may endeavor.

When you can step into self-forgiveness and self-compassion you can experience self-love. And from that self love you can do, be and have anything you want. That is true self-confidence.

Improving Confidence With Hypnotherapy

There are so many strategies, programs and tricks to boost your self-confidence that I couldn't even begin to list them here. And many of them can be effective but they often require a lot of conscious effort to instill the sought after confidence. Yet, there is a significant limitation to the conscious mind in its ability to move through difficult spots in our lives. This is because for the most part it only knows how to analyze, think and plan and has limited awareness of your lifetime of experience. Contrast that with your subconscious mind which has access to your habits, belief systems, fears, dreams and imagination.

Accessing the deep inner mind (subconscious) through the state of hypnosis opens the door to recreating, realigning and realizing your self in ways simply not possible with the conscious mind. It is with this understanding that we can engage with your inner mind in just 4 sessions to create massive improvements in your self-confidence and self-love. What follows is an outline of what that might look like. (*note: sessions and approaches are always unique the the individual and will not be the same for any two people.)

Day One: The Foundation

To quote a well-known self-help guru Stephen Covey, we will "begin with the end in mind". The first session for most all hypnotherapy work starts with identifying the problem and identifying where you would rather be and what you would rather have life (body, health, relationships etc.) look like. Effectively, what would you rather be experiencing. The challenge of not having enough confidence can come about for countless reasons and is unique to the individual. 

​Your challenge of not having the confidence you desire has some emotions attached to it. And behind those emotions are some beliefs about yourself. These are beliefs that have been in place since you were less than 10 years old. In this foundational session we will identify these beliefs and emotions and then shift your state to those emotions that you would rather. We will also utilize other techniques such as modified eye movement therapy and possibly some NLP to shift your state and provide you with tools to shift your own state whenever desired.

At the end of this first session you will walk away feeling a significant uplifted mood and attitude about yourself and about life's possibilities. 

Day Two: Working Together With Your Parts

If you haven't learned about your inner mind's parts yet then I strongly suggest reading, 5 Things You Can Accomplish In A Parts Work Session after finishing this post. Simply stated though, your inner mind can have parts that may conflict with what your adult self wants. In the case of issues with confidence (public speaking, talking to the opposite sex etc.) there is a part of you that of course wants to do those things and to do so easily and comfortably, however, there is also a part or parts that are getting in the way. 

Those parts that are getting in the way may be chattering certain things in your mind about why you can't do something, or why you aren't good enough to do it and so on. Those parts, with all the best intentions are trying to protect you from something or help you in some way, yet are unaware that their actions are not aligned with your goal for yourself.

In a parts work session I will take you into a hypnotic state so that we can easily foster a dialogue with those inner parts. This work is quite transformative because in all likelihood you were either unaware that the part/s exist or were not aware that you could actually change that part to a more effective end, making for a noticeably contrast in experience afterwards. At the end of a parts work session you leave feeling more whole and complete because in fact you are more whole and complete. Feeling more at one within yourself is a great step towards a high level of confidence in whatever you choose to do.

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Day Three: Breathing Through The Sticking Point

Common to the health and self-help sphere is the use of breath work to shift the state of the body-mind and to move beyond traumatic past events. Typically done in a group setting (although some practices utilize one-on-one work) breath work practices such as Holotropic Breathing use the breath to access trauma and subsequently work through it. In a group setting the practice can be cathartic and offer a release for trapped energy but unless the individual is able to properly process the originating relationship, the underlying cause remains. One-on-one is really the only way to get a full resolution of the underlying issue.

In my hypnotherapy practice I use the system for processing emotions, beliefs, memories and interpersonal relationships taught by Matthew Brownstein of the Institute of Interpersonal Hypnotherapy. Unique to this model is the use of higher spiritual principles interwoven with the hypnotherapy techniques typically resulting in a complete 'healing' (not a medical use of the term) of the underlying unmet need. This use of breath work, hypnotic regression and spiritual wisdom often makes for the most impactful session you've experienced thus far and will often cut straight to the biggest underlying issue in your entire life.

Day Four: Stepping Into The New You

In a fourth and likely final session to resolve the issue of self-confidence we look to what remains to be resolved. As if cleaning up and decorating after doing a makeover on a room in your home, this session will help you to step into a knowing that you are that whole being and to love yourself. This may involve doing some more NLP techniques, more parts work or even another regression session.

Without a doubt at the end of these 4 sessions you will leave feeling like a brand new person, or more correctly you will leave recognizing that you have always been whole and complete and your outward state of confidence will reflect just that.

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*Note: it is not uncommon for issues of confidence to have originated with significant childhood abuse or trauma. In these cases it may require more than the 4 session protocol outlined above.