Why Self Sabotage Is A Dangerous Myth

Self sabotage is a term that is regularly used in the self-help and psychology fields that refers to a person creating problems in their daily life which interferes with their long-term goals and well-being. It is really an entire niche within these fields that has spawned numerous programs designed to help people overcome self sabotage. And undoubtedly these programs may be effective to varying degrees. In fact I am not writing this to impugn those people or their programs.

The reason that I believe that it is a myth is because it is a conflation of terms and an overgeneralization of the word self. The dictionary definition of the word self is a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others. Notice the words, essential being. I believe that when we use the word self it should hold power and that it should imply our innate wholeness. Your true Self is whole and complete and nothing can change that.

Perfect, Whole and Complete

It is my belief that we are each of us perfect, whole and complete beings created of the divine. This whole Self is the true you that is connected to a higher perspective of life. This Self has no interest in sabotaging because all it wants is for the personality you to recognize your wholeness. This Self is in fact waiting for you to let go of the idea that you are separate and the idea that you are in need of anything. If this is a hard idea to accept, that is okay because those parts of you that find it hard to accept are still in fact part of the wholeness themselves and eventually they will come to that understanding.

Parts and Misperceptions

Don't be misled, you are not stepping on your own toes and sabotaging yourself. You are perfect, whole and complete as I mentioned above. The danger of the term self-sabotage is an inwardly directed blame which inevitably creates a greater sense of separateness and incompleteness. It creates a new part whose job it would seem to be is to figure out what is wrong with you. For some this can go on for decades trying to understand the behaviors, failures and limitations.

Recognize that the behaviors that are getting in the way of your long-term goals are emerging from those parts of the whole that are misperceiving. These parts of you don't understand that they are whole. These parts have needs that weren't met by the world around them for countless reasons, most of which occurred before the age of 10. These parts feel scared, angry and hurt and have beliefs that they are alone, unsafe or unloved.

Returning Home

Whatever your path or goal, it is those obstacles along the way that offer you the doorway to realize that perfection, wholeness and completeness. Instead of the self-blame that accompanies an idea like self-sabotage, approach these parts of your Self with compassion. So don't fight with your 'selves' but rather connect with them, understand them and then as your true Self show and give them what they need to realize that wholeness. Those parts of you that are misperceiving, once healed, merge into that true Self and with each merging you come to clearer and clearer understanding of that fact.

In parts work with Hypnotherapy I help you do just this and resolving those disrupting behaviors caused by those parts' unmet needs can be accomplished in just a few sessions quite often. Unlike working on your sabotaging behaviors, with hypnotherapy and parts work once the parts have been integrated into the Self then the work is done and the joy of life can be clearly seen and experienced.

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